Win Your Crowd: One Creative’s Approach to Connecting with Your Audience

Six years ago, when my last book came out, I had a silly belief that everyone I knew would buy that book. And read it.

In that was the unconscious philosophy that my very existence—and relationship with people in my life—earned me the right to their attention, their support, and their book purchase.

This also meant I was deeply curious, and somewhat afraid, of what they would think when they got their hands on my book (this hungry crowd, at the ready, desperate to devour my words). A few weeks before publication day, I was standing in my bedroom holding a copy of the book and said to my husband, “Is this going to anger people?” (That book is not about spreading communism or ragging on Taylor Swift; it is a light-hearted book about knowing your worth and negotiating for what you want in life.) But I was riddled with anxiety about how everyone was going to perceive it.

So yes, in my mind, on publication, everyone I knew would buy it and read it immediately, and I needed to be ready to both have a plan for all those royalties (new car? trust fund for the kids?), and the confidence to defend my words against all the endless feedback.

Publication day came and went.

The pre-sale orders didn’t match the number of people I personally knew. Even my sister asked if I had an extra (free) copy she could have, or if she needed to buy it.

People bought it, sure. But not everyone (as my publisher kept begrudgingly reminding me). And, as all publishers do after the first eight weeks of a book’s life, they moved on.

I was left with the strangest feeling, despite putting out a book for the whole world: Deeply humbled and utterly alone.

Over the next six years I realized that the crowd must be won. They are not given just by association. I needed to fully understand what crowd my work was truly for, and then make sure I got myself in front of that crowd.

And win it.

So, from eight weeks after publication (when the publisher had said “thanks for the laughs!”), I set out on a relentless speaking tour. That book got me on stage the first time. I spoke to chambers, women’s groups, national conferences, webinars, universities, leadership retreats, libraries, bookstores, classes, ribbon cuttings, you name it. If there was a stage, I climbed on it. If there wasn’t a stage, I stood at the front of the room. If there wasn’t a room, I shouted from the street corner.

And, according to my last royalty statement, I’m selling more each month—SIX years after publication—than I did in the first week the book came out.

Proof, as hard as it was to earn, that you must win your crowd.

One person at a time.

Next month my next book, my debut novel, comes out (preorder here!). And I was determined not to learn the same lesson again. I wanted to have an entirely different publishing experience, and so here’s what I’ve done to change my approach so I can win my crowd.

Get a Witness to My Work

Most people believe that everyone is watching them. Perhaps you think your boss is watching you. That he knows what your job is, what you do every day, how you budget your time, and the productivity you achieve. Yep, your boss is sitting in the corner of the office, watching you in sheer admiration. Unrelenting awe. And he cannot wait to tap you on the shoulder and say, “Okay, I see you. I applaud you. It’s your time.”

“Time for what?” you ask.

“Time for all your dreams to come true.”

And yet, your boss isn’t in the corner watching. I actually don’t know where he is right now. Did you check the bathroom? Sometimes he hangs out in the third stall watching YouTube shorts. Honestly, someone needs to be watching him. What does he even do around here?

So, while you might think the whole world, or your neighbors, or your boss, are somehow always watching you, the reality is, they haven’t noticed a damn thing.

How painful is that to learn?

How freeing is that to know?

For years I had people tell me that I needed to hire an assistant—for just a few hours a week. But every time I thought about hiring someone, I got stuck on the idea of letting anyone into my work. I was so accustomed to doing it all alone—emailing, drafting, writing, proofreading, pitching, rehearsing, updating the website, booking travel, and spinning around and around in my wheely chair waiting for inspiration to strike.

At a conference last year, I met a speaker and writer who had hired an assistant to great success. When I slipped into whining about not knowing how to let someone in or even how to put together a job description, she held up her hand. “That’s your problem, right there,” she said.

“How?”

“Hire the person and have them watch you work.”

“Ew, no.”

“Yes. They can assess all your needs and then they can write the job description.”

“But then they will be watching me work.”

“Right.”

“And see how messy and weird and crazy I can be.”

“Yep.”

“To what end?”

“Hire someone and you’ll know soon enough."

A year later, Katie has been the single greatest addition to my business (I still giggle calling it that) and to my creativity. Sure, she’s handling some tactical things. But more than that, she provides the most important role I’ve ever had: a witness to my work.

To be a creative is a lonely and isolating endeavor. But hiring her gave me one face in the crowd.

One person who sees my efforts, understands and appreciates what I’m trying to do, and is at the ready to help make the dreams come true. Now, instead of dreaming and creating in a vacuum, I have a witness. A sounding board. A champion. A pep talk during bouts of writer’s block or stage fright.

To what end? I had asked my friend a year ago.

Well, creatives have no control over the outcome. How I’ll be read from the page, how I’ll be perceived from the stage.

In the end, the process—and getting anyone to witness it—is all we have.

Know My Crowd

As a writer and a speaker, it’s hard to not assume my work is for everyone. Everyone would love my book! Everyone would benefit from my keynote!

And while it is true that I’ve had quite a range of diversity in readers and audience members who enjoyed my work, it’s also true they were outliers. Because the reality is, I am writing for a certain reader. I am speaking to a certain listener.

I got some good advice on the eve of my debut novel coming out: come up with a list of 10 characteristics of your ideal reader. After writing down “everyone” and scratching it out a few times, I really nestled in. A woman, a mother, a working mother, a working mother who is married. Perhaps she lives in the Midwest. She leans slightly left or, at the very least, isn’t among the trend of “trad wives.” She’s got a sense of humor. She’s been to therapy or at least is open to the idea. She’s a girl’s girl. She’s a reader. She’s a dreamer. She knows about the Taylor Swift/Blake Lively drama. And she has an opinion on it.

Making a description of this reader felt at first like a betrayal of anyone who might select my book but doesn’t fall into the framework.

But on the other hand, it gave me the perfect description of who I was trying to get to read this book.

And with that, Katie and I set out on a mission to….

Win My Crowd

I hand-selected dozens of people—who had come to follow me after hearing me talk on stage, reading my other books, or from a personal connection long ago—whom I knew fit most of the descriptors of my ideal reader. I asked them to join my upcoming novel’s Book Launch team.

Joining meant they agreed to read the advance copy I’d provide for them and leave a review. They’d also agree to read weekly emails from Katie in which she would give the Launch Team a challenge—post a selfie with the book, send the pre-order link to three friends, mark the book “to be read” on Goodreads,” etc. Behind the scenes, I made a “Close Friends” Instagram list of everyone on the Launch Team so I could share the book updates like the cover art or early critic reviews on private stories.

We created this Launch Team to help catapult the book. To launch it out to other ideal readers. To hopefully garner some enthusiasm for this book from crowds of people.

But then a strange thing happened.

The Launch Team became the only crowd I cared about.

During our weekly meetings, Katie would tell me how the Launch Team members were responding to her emails with lines from the book they liked or compliments to the reading playlist she put together. I was sharing how the Launch Team flooded my DMs with their thoughts on the book, which I would then screen shot and share back to the private group. Members were saying that they would bump into mutual friends and ask if they were also on the Launch Team. That resulted in a request for friendship bracelets to wear and signal their support to others (my daughters are currently at the kitchen table making this happen). Numerous Launch Team members have told me they’ve convinced their book clubs to read it, others have called independent bookstores in other cities, and some have put me in touch with various libraries to give readings. And I have had dozens of people RSVPing for the Book Launch Party, many of whom are flying in from out of state.

I thought the goal was to get this small but mighty group of people to help me launch the book. To get others excited about it. To propel my book dreams.

But they already did.

Like that saying, “All of my dreams came true and I almost didn’t notice.”

All I ever wanted from my writing and speaking was to connect with people. A person. Eventually, lots of persons. Enough to call it a crowd.

It took me nearly seven years to figure out how that even happens. Crowds do not just appear to you—not even by association. A crowd requires your care and commitment before it will connect with your creativity.

I missed that last time.

But this time, I won my crowd.

And thank goodness Katie was there to point it out.

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